From the Road, 10/4-8

Months ago, at the beginning of October, I headed south from San Fidel to Tucson to shoot Holly’s wedding. Along the way, I thought about moving to New York City, listened to music made by my beautiful friends, kept my token journal notes, and scribbled into my red book with steering wheel for a desk.

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(10/4/12)

10:29a – Into Arizona now, heading south on AZ-191. There is no daylight savings time here; they are always fallen back. I am a supporter of this; I like it. I like my mornings bright and my evenings dark, and I like my roads open and my views wild and my friends close.

10:42a – Will I ever be able to contain, explain, or contemplate the magnitude of how much I love driving?

1:04p – Up and down on the passes of 60W through the canyon’s hills and mesas before Show Low and Globe, my ears are popping randomly with staccato beats like the last-to-burst kernels of corn when the pot of popcorn on the stove is done and already full.

1:47p – There are only a few things that cut to the quick of me and elicit a gasp in as deep a way as the flash of gold, growing wildflowers among darker ombres.

The way radiating cirrus clouds reverberate about the crest of a steep peak above me makes it seem as if a giant stationary wave is pushing all sound and matter along.

2:38p – Into the land of agave, prickly pear, ocotillo, and saguaro – the majestics and eccentrics and thorny dwellers that populate this part of the desert world. Everything here is designed to put holes in you and thieve the wet life within you.

3:12p – A red-tailed hawk soaring steadily out my window – motionless except for the movement of air moving him – only flapped his wings in greeting after I waved my arm at him.

(10/5/12)

At the hotel, there is some sort of hearing-imparied or American Sign Language convention. And it is so interesting to walk through a silent crowd of people and know that the flurry of hands and gestures and movements is a flurry of animated conversation that you can’t hear – that no one can.

11:47a – Made the difficult decision to not go out to saguaro or another park to take pictures and instead decided to bake in the sun by the pool. There is not a drop of suntan lotion to be found, but there are palm trees and occasional breezes and conversations, always a plus.

1:30p – You know you’ve been lying still on the bleached, cracking strips of old lounge chairs for quite a long time when you open your eyes to find vultures circling you in lower and lower circles. There is another red-tailed hawk, and he soars and swoops so high that his diving towards you brings him from a black speck to a dark slash in the blue.

(10/6/12)

11:00a – The ants here are so gentle and tiny that you don’t know they are all over your toes until an accidental glance down gives them away. In contrast, there are still itching, itchy wounds on my ankle and shin left from the fire ant that hitchhiked up my pant leg over a week ago to munch my flesh – his final snack – before I gasped in burning pain and smash-slapped up and down my pant leg to stop his searing nibbles.

(10/7/12)

Leaving Tuscon, getting gas, gave a crying woman in a pink flowing dress and red backpack my last dollars for the bus. Wondered: why is life so hard?

10:16a – There is something so sweet about experiencing a place or person when you know you will not be seeing, loving, or experiencing them for a long while. You live in that moment how we should live at all moments, in the utter present, fully. 

11:19a – I love seeing a supple, single-spined saguaro standing near an elder with a dozen arms or more, the young adolescent learning to grow and be strong from the oldest grandfather, greying brown and decaying though his flesh may be. 

An upside to being drunk on lack of sleep and dry desert air: the gravelly tenor voice that comes with exhaustion and dehydration that means singing a man’s song in the car is a literally deeper and more satisfying duet. 

5:29p – New Mexico is absolutely my favorite place, my heart’s home. One day, I will buy miles worth of land that is soaked in golden light, burnished with copper roads, and grounded with the deepest grey-green. It will be wide open to the sky, and I will plant and grow things there – myself, a garden, children, a life.

This was the last trip of skies and leaves and desert autumn before I moved east, and these pictures are so sweet to me now.

Be well, loves.

– Coon

 

 

 

HB + ER

Holly Brown and I made friends in college. We became fast friends, however, by making cynical quips back and forth during our time as editors for The Juniatian, our newspaper. I don’t remember anymore any of the copy we edited or many of the many articles we wrote, but thinking about all those hours gives me a warm, giggling feeling – hysterical and exasperated, pressed by deadlines – yet warm and yellow and fun.

She is one of those people who can – with the absolute driest expression – bring a room full of other people to tears for laughing.

She is exquisite!

And lucky for her, she moved to Tucson and found the perfectly funny dude to suit her; and lucky for him, she said yes; and lucky for me, I got to photograph them both last October when they got straight hitched!

HB, you are magnanimous and patient, a saint, and wickedly amusing. You deserve the best!

You are the best!

Congratulations from the future.

Love, Sarah Wharton

Interim

I start an internship soon with Steve McCurry’s studio in Long Island City. It will be three months of full-time go go go between commuting and photos and trying to stay afloat above city sidewalks and bobbing passerby, but I am excited.

In the interim – just like everyone else in the city sea – I keep busy with too many photos to edit, late dinners, dog duty, transferring my life from one new place to another newer one, forgetting to over-water the plants, making phone calls, baking brownies, and trying to keep the apartment clean (I’ve traded thick dust and dog hair for grey grime and dog hair).

There are people everywhere, and I am one of them. We throng!

Throng strong, babies. Upwards and onwards.

Be well.

– SAWK

Detritus and Flowers

I have countless things to do, bills to pay, photos to edit, and things to catch up on after moving 2,000 miles three weeks ago, but all I have thought of since a particular subway ride last week is the rat scuttling snakily between the detritus beneath the train tracks under Nostrand and the A-train.

Each bottle, each wrapper, that pencil, the chapstick, that red lighter, belonged to someone – a real person! – and I can’t get over it.

Those bottles touched lips, those wrappers were untwisted and ripped with fingers, that pencil wrote numbers, that chapstick sat in pockets, that lighter lit cigarettes, all belonging to and used by people, people, people . . .

And who are they? – and where are they now? . . .

I never understood the idea of the city as an urban jungle, but now I appreciate it more. Somehow – as full and busy, trodden and populated as it is – it still feels like a wilderness unknown – vines of electric wires crisscrossing streets uncharted; people fierce, vibrant, and untamed; cultures unfamiliar, set among scenes unnavigable. Rivers of bodies, cars, and bikes rush between high, carved edifices, great pillars of angles and rock eroded from ages of hours and the friction cycle of rain, sun, and city grime.  There is something about the sheer presence of humanity everywhere that paradoxically blocks it out – a ‘Where’s Waldo?’ effect that blends the trash and litter, the heights of buildings, the dancing crowds, the bustling shops, the exponential faces, into a landscape spectacle with everything to look at, everything to see, and nothing to focus your eyes on without straining them in the most tiring, exhilarating way.

But then, a flash or presence: people are flowers, each with their own hue and scent, and sometimes they flourish among the dripping buildings and refuse. They blossom cherry-red from cars in the middle of the street, giving directions in thick New York voices to bewildered, wilted dandelions, blown in with their Florida rental to the center of Marcy Avenue.

Downtown in Brooklyn, I saw a flower on the corner of Court and Atlantic. Lost in thought, she paused just long enough for me to register her wintery, rosy face. It was my friend Jen in a dark green coat that sprouted deep purple petals at the openings, her hands and neck wrapped and warm like buds. She was my first random New York run-in, a lilac smelling of coffee, a known posy among strangers’ faces full of windows and unfamiliar eyes.

Then, there was the woman who stood across from me on the subway this morning. She was another blossom rooted in earthen clothes with a serene face that looked as English as a garden and matched her quiet, British accent. Brown pants and a long, mottled coat solidy grew up her steady frame like ivy on a quaint, brick building. Her hat bloomed fuchsia like a great peony, imitating the hardy shrub she obviously was. I wanted to take her picture, but my courage failed me with all the other passengers growing like serious, angry weeds around our tiny plot of earth.

I am a plant, too – uprooted and branching out as I am – and today, I am wild, grounded and skirted in ochre, carrying herbs, smelling of roses. I’m very much a country flower – a country mouse among bigger, better, faster, stronger town rats and city cats that scurry under subways and around litter – but I think I love it.

The puppies and I have spinning tops for heads that whip towards every new scent, sound, and stirring. We walk! We stare! We try not to stare at crazy people on the street or subway!

“What’s that new piece of trash on the corner?” sniffs Boon, cocking his head. “Where did the old one go?” tumbles Annie, hound nose to the ground. “Who picked it up – a little paper flower – and what blew it away?” think I; and like the Coon that I am and the dogs they are, we all three blunder along, digging ourselves out of the asphalt newness, tripping over each other and the ever-present detritus and flowers until we bowl back through the lobby of 770 St. Mark’s, the sight and smell of its bright, acoustical ceiling growing more familiar every day.

We are overstimulated in the best possible way, we are growing, our petals close sleepily, and every night we hit the bed a bundle of buzzing paws and leaves and limbs.

Till tomorrow. Be well, my flowers.

– Coon

 

 

 

Many Miles Away

In New Mexico, the space is vast and quiet, a place where echoes have left their voices to the louder sounds of wind and air. In New York, many miles away, the space is vast and loud, a place where echoes live healthy, raucous lives amidst car honks and buskers, voices with accents and foreign tongues, cell phone rings and subways accelerating. On 6th Avenue the other day – the lofty, patriotic Avenue of the Americas – the echoes bounced from the yips of tiny dogs in sweaters on the end of jewel-studded leashes. They flashed around an impeccably dressed lady, all in black, her hair overflowing in grey curls like an icy, winter waterfall down her back. They played off the tender voice of a hard-edged woman on the phone to home, saying, “Give my regards to everyone, and I love you and I’ll always love you.”

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My Brooklyn, big-city life began with the first of the year. There is something pure and fresh about beginning a new life in a new place on the first day of a new year. We change, we adapt, we adjust – the puppies more slowly than I – and happily for everyone, we have a home, we have the prospect of jobs, we have roofs with turrets and gargoyles to see a few stars from, we have dinners of soup on rainy days, we have streets and coffee shops to explore and know, and we have friends, friends, friends to see and kiss almost every New York minute.

There is an embarrassing amount of more to say and share – of trips east with my dad, of New Year’s parties and charades, of backlogged photos from far too long ago – but I’m still learning to walk on pavement rather than dust, and it’s taking a little while. Stay tuned, darlings. I love you and I’ll always love you. Be well. – SAWK

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